A change in Face....

There are times in every persons life when they face change.....good or bad! We can either stand tall and take it on full speed ahead or we can wither in a corner and hope that it passes. For most of us we look the other way when we are handed the opportunity to change; out of fear, apprehension or just plain lack of confidence. We wait, hoping that it will go by and not impact our lives too much. I self admittedly have done this for years, accepting that I was fine just the way I was...never pushing the envelope...following a path that I felt I had to take, it was the right thing to do. My first question to myself when I felt like I had hit rock bottom of the emotional river that was raging through my life; Hmmm....the right thing for who? I made the choice to grab that last glimmer of hope that was left in my battered pool of feelings. This summer was a test of my sheer endurance and ability to rebound from a sequence of devastating blows. This time I had chose to hold onto the banks and pull myself up to a new, different place along this raging river that seemed determined to pull me under. I came out on the other side different, changed! I wanted more for myself, someone who I had lost along the way. I think that as Mom's we put ourselves last out of necessity. Everyone in our circle needs us more than we need ourselves, there just isn't any time left to invest in "us"; unfortunately after years of this we loose ourselves.
I have happily been just a Mom for over 14 years now and it is the only job I could imagine having, one that can never be measured in worth because it is priceless. The pay is in the form of smiles, hugs, love and memories again priceless. My other job is as a wife to a wonderful man who loves me so unconditionally it brings tears to my eyes. He works hard, too hard and sacrifices time with his family to afford me the opportunity to be a full-time Mom. He is selfless, loyal and is always giving of himself. This part of "Me" I would never change, this strong force of connection and indestructible structure of my family will forever be my core, my driving force! Without ever loosing a single thread of family, I am setting out to find this person I was, want to be and deserve to be. Thank You to my family for my overflowing and abundant life!! Thank You to all my friends old and especially new who support me and encourage me in ways you don't even know! I love You!